DNF Run...Where I gave up...

What pushes you to continue......?

I had registered for Airtel Hyderababd Full Marathon and have been preparing for it. As luck would have it, I had a commitment on Saturday at Mumbai due to which I decided  not to go to Hyderabad. Although I was in Mumbai, my heart and soul was in Hyderabad. I finished my job on Saturday at about 2030 hrs and on my way back home, picked up gatorade bottles, vaseline(WPJ), and started making plans as if I am going to actually run a FM on Sunday. So I had ,my dinner at 2130 hrs and slept off at 2200 hrs with the alarm set at 0345 hrs. I decided to get up early and be ready for the run as per the plan of starting at 0500hrs. I woke up earlier on my own at 0320 hrs and started getting ready. I realised that I had no helmet so I possibly cannot drive my scooter to Marine drive. I had planned to drive to NCPA, park my scooter there and run till Navy nagar and back which would be approx 10-11 K and then go for a 30K with Savio's group. This plan  just fizzled out. So my next plan was to start running from Navy nagar reach NCPA, go till the end of Marine drive and turn back to NCPA and then join with the group.

 As I started running, my mind was on maintaining a comfortable pace which I can sustain for at least 4-4.5 hours. I was also constantly checking my form to see if my legs were not getting loaded unevenly. Slowly the rhythm set in and I reached NCPA in about 35 minutes. I started running at 0410 and reached NCPA at 0445. I then continued to the end of Marine drive which took me exactly 29 minutes for 4.5 K, yes , my pace was actually slower than my usual pace. At this point in time, I changed my mind, I wanted to run alone and focus on my form and meditate while running. So I did not turn back and continued to run towards Peddar Road.  But one thing was troubling me, I was perspiring too much, my shirt and shorts were totally dripping and it was as if I was carrying weights. I juggled with the thought of running shirtless, then gave it up saying it's OK , Ill get used to it soon. But as I reached Haji Ali juice centre, I couldnt resist stopping and removing my T shirt and I squeezed it dry and then tied it around my waist and started running shirtless. Wow, what a feeling, I felt as if a huge weight had been removed...I actually felt very comfortable initially. As I crossed Worli dairy and came to the main traffic signal/ crossing after Worli Dairy, I saw this gorgeous runner getting ready to start her run and she offered Enerzal to me, I politely thanked her and refused and continued. I was on a mission to run self supported as much distance I can, and I was carrying gatorade in my bottle belt around my waist.

I reached old passport office and then decided to run towards Shivaji park, I actually have never run till this point before. I was amazed at the place, it is so beautiful. I took a complete round of the road outside the park and started my return leg. I met up with some Shivaji Park runners who were running till Mela restaurant and back. I was comfortable and reached Worli Diary. I saw the Savio group runners who I felt were in much lesser numbers today and I reached Mela. A funny thing I always realize in long runs is that as the distance increases, especially after 21K, you seem to feel that you have run a lot but actually there is hardly any distance you have covered. I don't know but this is something that I have experienced always. I had this Strider runner with me on the Haji Ali sea phase and then the climb up Peddar road which I claim to have easily conquered, strangely, uphill is where I feel more comfortable and my pace naturally increases, though I do lose some breathing if the climb is too long and I have to readjust.. As I reached Babulnath turn, I hit the WALL. I did not have cramps, I was not feeling giddy, no nothing, but somewhere I felt as if all my energy is drained out, I was feeling very weak all of a sudden as if my battery was on emergency and any time it could switch off and I would black out ..... 

This is a testing time for most runners... I now pose this question, if I was in a group or if I was running an event, there is this trigger that pushes you to continue... Here I was.. all alone, I looked back to see if Savio's saviours were coming back, but no one was in sight. I stopped at the temple near Babulnath and bought a couple of bananas and some water and had it. I felt better. I decided to start running again. I went till Wilson's college and was feeling as if i was just pushing myself for nothing.. I started walking, my mind was playing games. I told myself, come on.. you cant be doing this, you can easily run for much more distance.. So I started running again only to stop after another 1k  after crossing the flyover. This is the point where I decided that I shall actually do a DNF and i hailed a cab and went back home. I felt miserable initially that I did that. It was not that I could not have run, but somewhere there was this demonic mind telling me that what is the point of pushing yourself to run till end of marine drive, just finish and go back... I also had a train to catch to head back home to Pune... so a mixture of thoughts running in my head. But what was the real reason for the DNF.--> (a) I still need to make my mind stronger (b) Running with group helps in such situations as you get motivation, and (c) if it was an event, completion would have been the absolute aim. I am not saying it has to be a paid event, but an event managed by a self group with the distance and route marked and fixed. Having a target distance and route well before a long run is an essential task. My logic of just running along and deciding the distance may not always work especially when the weather and conditions are not very conducive.

So Guys, here is the story of a DNF which has taught me many a lesson for me to train and run harder and achieve self goals and beat myself to better targets each time...See you in Satara HM hopefully...