A Run in the Dark and a spiritual conversation....

           Running in Goa has been an evolution as it has been testing my inner strengths and weaknesses, particularly because the runs have been more or less alone. One such run is what I describe here. I got up in the morning and got ready to run by 0530 hrs. I finished my warming up dynamic stretches and was ready to go by 0545 hrs. I had decided to do an 8-10 K run at a fast pace (tempo run). As I got ready to start, I noticed the darkness as the lights suddenly went out and it was pitch dark and I could hear some dogs barking in the background. The first involuntary reaction was fear with all kinds of scary thoughts in the mind. I observed those thoughts and smiled at my mind, and started my run. Soon I was on the beach which is about 1.25 km away from my house.

                 On the beach, it was pitch black darkness and the sound of the waves with the white froth of the wave break visible was giving solace to the mind that there was something discernible in the darkness. As I decided to turn right on the beach towards Colva, I heard ferocious barking of many dogs and immediately turned left which was relatively silent and started running towards Varca. As I started running, I could see a distant light and soon, as that was getting obscured by fog; it was me and darkness on the beach with the vast sea on my right. I felt as if I was running towards eternity and this would be the way I would end by just vanishing into the darkness as I run into it. What a thought!  What a way to die, it would be any runner’s dream, I guess! This thought was disturbed suddenly by the barking of a dog. It was quite distant, but my mind was obsessed and I was scared of these dogs coming charging at me. And being all alone on the beach is also another vulnerability which these excited guys can take advantage of, which normally should never happen, but fear is always there in the mind. I was desperately trying to overcome these fears and get out of it, and that is why I always try and get out in the dark to face these fears and overcome them. Incidentally, when I speak to my lady friends, I realise that they are tormented by an additional fear more realistic than mine, of dangerous human beings of the other sex, and that keeps them away from coming out alone in the dark. Really sad state of affairs, dogs and animals are much better than human beings, they only attack when feel threatened, human beings attack for sadistic reasons. I wonder why a woman has to be scared of another human being, when all of us have always been told by all our near and dear to spread love, peace and harmony. Why is there so much strife and hatred filled in our minds? Is it because of the inputs we keep receiving in terms of media, newspapers etc.?  How many times do we appreciate all that we are blessed with, have gratitude for everything and enjoy the present moment?  “Compassion for all” should be the key mantra in our minds whenever we are faced with adversity, isn’t it?  I try to tune my mind for the dogs that bark at me and I fail many times especially when they come charging at me ferociously, I wonder what must be going through a woman’s mind when she is alone and a man charges at her. A dog is smaller in size and can be easily overpowered by any human, but for a woman being stalked by a man, it is the opposite, as if I were to face a lion on the beach or an animal much more powerful than me and with absolutely injurious intentions. This is really tough for anyone to face. All these thoughts and more were playing in my mind during the run. I was all alone on the beach for the entire run duration and it was as if I was in a different world.

As I continued my journey unfettered by the barking noise of the dog, it stopped and again I was in the throes of nature and enjoyed the solitude for about half an hour and was unable to see where I had reached, when I was again disturbed by loud ferocious barking of many dogs ahead. I decided to stay away from trouble and immediately turned back and started my return leg. As I proceeded ahead, I had my first chase of three dogs that came barking and charged at me. I ran faster and faster and tried to ignore them, but my mind was stuck with fear that I was going to get bitten by them. Soon, I realised that they were no longer behind me. I presume that they were guarding their territory from strangers and a running stranger must be a serious threat for them.  As I moved ahead, again there were two small dogs, just outgrown puppies I guess,  who were not barking but started pacing with me. Instinctively, I slowed down and started walking and they just went away resuming their play together. I started running again and soon I reached my starting point and the light was just beginning to show up and I saw an old man who comes daily for walking on the beach. I asked him the time and it was 0640 hrs and it was time for my “morning smiling friend” to show up at a nearby beach entrance. So I started jogging towards that direction to meet her and continue a long walk with her where we discuss varied topics on photography, which is her passion, books, yoga, meditation, philosophy of life etc. I love to have such conversations early in the morning as the mind is fresh and the thoughts are pure and unpolluted by the events of the day. There were a number of starfish on the beach and she clicked some close-up snaps of them. It was a lovely morning on the beach with the tide being low and heavy fog all over. 

                We discussed about life and she said that the most important part of life is to live “attentively” as in if we pay attention every moment to everything within us and around us, we actually live in the present, and life is all about living in the present. I had just read about Hatha Yoga in a book and re-stated the facts given about the eight steps in yoga namely Yama, Niyama, Asana, Pranayama, Pratyahara, Dharana, Dhyana, and Samadhi.  I find it similar to Vippasana where there are three steps viz. Sheel, Samadhi and Pragnya.  Sheel and Yama are same, Samadhi in Vippasana is equivalent to the next seven steps of Yoga where the mind is controlled and a person becomes the master of the mind, and Samadhi of yoga is the stage of Pragnya in Vippasana where a person gains wisdom by self-realization/ experience. Basically all these arts of meditation and exercise teach us to live life attentively in the present and overcome the fears and worries of the past or the future.  We also spoke about this child prodigy who expired this January at a young age of 16 years and had written a book which was published on the day she died , and that too in the Jaipur Litfest called “The Little Epiphanies”. She had written about all the glorious moments of her life and her dreams before she died. She knew that she was dying and I believe had asked to live a little longer from God as she wanted to do so much more. Sad but real , but  children are so pure and un-polluted by the ways of the world, so in a way, they are much closer to God. There is so much to learn from children, yes, it is the adults who have to learn from children and not vice-versa. 

                   Running in the dark and discovering your own mind and overcoming the “shadows of demons” is also a moment of epiphany especially when you get to see the marvels of nature unfold as the day begins each morning. After a long walk of discussion on all these points, time had really flown and it was already 08:10 Am and I was really late as I normally leave for office by this time. So I bade goodbye and ran back to my house and had a quick bath, breakfast and managed to reach office at sharp 0900 hrs. The day had begun beautifully with a lot of activity both physically as well as intellectually. I had achieved a tempo run (albeit with some unwanted breaks) as well as a stimulating conversation to mull over  and evolve in life. 

Dr Ramani marathon at Ponda- An awesome experience..

After a not so successful FM at SCMM 2015 with a weak finish and a timing of 4hr 28 min, this is the first event I decided to participate and it was very convenient as there was a group registration and the Bibs were also collected by a representative. So the only trouble I had to take was to reach there for the Marathon, which also was taken care by a co-resident staying close by and we had a car pool of five people going together for the race. So the day began early at 0400 wake up time and I left home at 0450 to a nearby friend’s place from where we were being picked up at 0510 hrs.  We were picked up on time and there was too much fog on the way, which is why the race was commencing at 0615 hrs. There were no direction boards, very few volunteers and we were searching the place for quite some time but soon enough we heard loud music and there we were in front of the Sports centre and we could see a number of cars parked there. We joined the gang of “Sussegado Runners” who were easy to identify as we were all wearing the recently acquired T-shirts/ singlets. After customary greetings and meetings, all started doing their warm up sessions and soon enough we were in the start line waiting for the count-down. I had decided to run at a pace which is befitting a race pace as per my capability and I wanted to assess my capability without stretching the body too much. In GRM , I had tried to keep pace with a fast runner and I succeeded and achieved my PB of 1hr 37.44 min but I realised that I had overstretched myself as I had jammed quads after the race for two days( DOMS). Now, I wanted to observe my race pace without overstretching myself, and I have been practicing shorter distances at a faster pace than my earlier 5:30 min/km pace. I have been doing a pace of 5:00 min/km for about 10-15 km in my practice runs and I found myself comfortable in maintaining this pace without overstretching myself. So with this pace for a HM, my timing should be 1hr 45 min. Of course during a race, adrenaline levels are high and the brain takes you faster than training pace so I estimated a time somewhere under 1:45 as my finish timing. Coincidentally my BIB number was 4545. Secrets of the universe, I was being told that 1hr 45 min is my timing target for this race. Anyways, shod of a Garmin or a watch (being a FreeRunner, I have not used gadgets for long now), I tried to evaluate my pace while running. The route was through the city for a while and soon enough we were into the interiors, plenty of uphills and downhills and through water bodies on both sides, quaint villages, bridges, temples, the scene was breathtaking and naturesque. I couldn't have asked for a better route as I love to run in such surroundings and Goa has been quite generous in giving me many such opportunities. I would rate Goa better than Pune with respect to the amount of greenery and natural surroundings here, especially as we enter into the interiors of villages, the untouched rustic landscape is awesome and something that I love.

As I surged ahead of the initial running crowd,  I soon found myself running alone with no one behind or ahead of me for a long distance and after about an hour of running, I overtook a young girl who seemed to be a local sports person. The running route was through quaint villages and water bodies and then old temples and the scenery on the way was breath taking. I was so mesmerized with the scenery and the environment, I never realized all the hills that I was crossing. I was enjoying watching the rustic scenes of village folk performing their morning functions, the cultural activities are very rich here, people were busy plucking flowers for the morning prayers and many had come out of their houses to look at us funnily dressed people running and drenched with sweat early in the morning. I wished and greeted many of them and got return replies from some of them. Later I overtook a runner who looked at me very surprised and told me that I have come the wrong way. I was angry first, then calmed down and told him that I have come as I have been guided by the volunteers and I don’t know any other way, as I am new to this part of Goa. He was surprised that there was no one behind him for long, so where did I suddenly appear from; I think he was concerned about me overtaking him. I just disregarded his remark and quietly went ahead and continued my run focusing on my form and pace. I learnt later that he is a 52 year old runner who always manages a podium finish. He had recently come first in the Tower Run held at Panjim and is a nice person whom I befriended easily after the finish of the race. I told myself to focus on my run and soon I was climbing a difficult hill and I managed to continue running at a constant pace. Again I was all alone and I was not aware of how much of distance is left, and soon enough I saw some volunteers who shouted that only 3 Km are left. So I decided to start pacing for a strong finish and moved ahead, but the last part of the race also had a up-slope and then had to cross a busy bus-stand and then go back to the sports complex and since I did not know the place very well, I missed my 200-300 m sprint here as there was a blind turn and I was into the road leading to the sports complex just 50-100 m away. I just sprinted the last 50-100 m and finished the race strong. I was satisfied but there was no one telling the timing. I asked the time from someone and it was about 0805. If the race had started at 0615, then I was below my mark of 1hr 45 min and I was very disappointed. However, after a few minutes, a running friend of mine finished and congratulated me and he said that his timing was 1 hr 45 min. So I knew that I had to be under that. As I went to the timing counter, I realised that my name was written there on their merit sheet. I had stood Third in the open category of men, and I was awarded a cash prize of 5000/=. This is the first time I have ever won a cash prize in a sports event. Last time I had a podium finish was in Pune Happy Hearts Marathon where the prize was a free membership in a gymnasium which was 28 Km away from my house.  Anyways, my Sunday had started very well with an awesome experience of a run in naturesque surroundings and the icing on top of the cake was my podium finish with a cash prize.   The biggest advantage of this run was my renewed energy and target for pace for the next HM where I would try and maintain a pace to get a finish time of 1 hr 40 min or lower. This is to ensure that I am out of my comfort zone soon enough which is essential to keep the “flow” on... My timing in this race was 1:43:09, almost close to 1:45.