Running in Goa has been an
evolution as it has been testing my inner strengths and weaknesses,
particularly because the runs have been more or less alone. One such run is
what I describe here. I got up in the morning and got ready to run by 0530 hrs.
I finished my warming up dynamic stretches and was ready to go by 0545 hrs. I
had decided to do an 8-10 K run at a fast pace (tempo run). As I got ready to
start, I noticed the darkness as the lights suddenly went out and it was pitch
dark and I could hear some dogs barking in the background. The first
involuntary reaction was fear with all kinds of scary thoughts in the mind. I
observed those thoughts and smiled at my mind, and started my run. Soon I was
on the beach which is about 1.25 km away from my house.
On the beach, it was pitch black
darkness and the sound of the waves with the white froth of the wave break
visible was giving solace to the mind that there was something discernible in
the darkness. As I decided to turn right on the beach towards Colva, I heard
ferocious barking of many dogs and immediately turned left which was relatively
silent and started running towards Varca. As I started running, I could see a
distant light and soon, as that was getting obscured by fog; it was me and
darkness on the beach with the vast sea on my right. I felt as if I was running
towards eternity and this would be the way I would end by just vanishing into
the darkness as I run into it. What a thought!
What a way to die, it would be any runner’s dream, I guess! This thought
was disturbed suddenly by the barking of a dog. It was quite distant, but my
mind was obsessed and I was scared of these dogs coming charging at me. And
being all alone on the beach is also another vulnerability which these excited
guys can take advantage of, which normally should never happen, but fear is
always there in the mind. I was desperately trying to overcome these fears and
get out of it, and that is why I always try and get out in the dark to face these
fears and overcome them. Incidentally, when I speak to my lady friends, I
realise that they are tormented by an additional fear more realistic than mine,
of dangerous human beings of the other sex, and that keeps them away from
coming out alone in the dark. Really sad state of affairs, dogs and animals are
much better than human beings, they only attack when feel threatened, human
beings attack for sadistic reasons. I wonder why a woman has to be scared of
another human being, when all of us have always been told by all our near and
dear to spread love, peace and harmony. Why is there so much strife and hatred
filled in our minds? Is it because of the inputs we keep receiving in terms of
media, newspapers etc.? How many times
do we appreciate all that we are blessed with, have gratitude for everything
and enjoy the present moment? “Compassion
for all” should be the key mantra in our minds whenever we are faced with
adversity, isn’t it? I try to tune my
mind for the dogs that bark at me and I fail many times especially when they
come charging at me ferociously, I wonder what must be going through a woman’s
mind when she is alone and a man charges at her. A dog is smaller in size and
can be easily overpowered by any human, but for a woman being stalked by a man,
it is the opposite, as if I were to face a lion on the beach or an animal much
more powerful than me and with absolutely injurious intentions. This is really
tough for anyone to face. All these thoughts and more were playing in my mind
during the run. I was all alone on the beach for the entire run duration and it
was as if I was in a different world.
As I continued my journey
unfettered by the barking noise of the dog, it stopped and again I was in the
throes of nature and enjoyed the solitude for about half an hour and was unable
to see where I had reached, when I was again disturbed by loud ferocious
barking of many dogs ahead. I decided to stay away from trouble and immediately
turned back and started my return leg. As I proceeded ahead, I had my first
chase of three dogs that came barking and charged at me. I ran faster and
faster and tried to ignore them, but my mind was stuck with fear that I was
going to get bitten by them. Soon, I realised that they were no longer behind
me. I presume that they were guarding their territory from strangers and a
running stranger must be a serious threat for them. As I moved ahead, again there were two small
dogs, just outgrown puppies I guess, who were not barking but started pacing
with me. Instinctively, I slowed down and started walking and they just went
away resuming their play together. I started running again and soon I reached
my starting point and the light was just beginning to show up and I saw an old
man who comes daily for walking on the beach. I asked him the time and it was 0640
hrs and it was time for my “morning smiling friend” to show up at a nearby
beach entrance. So I started jogging towards that direction to meet her and
continue a long walk with her where we discuss varied topics on photography, which is her passion, books, yoga, meditation, philosophy of life
etc. I love to have such conversations early in the morning as the mind is
fresh and the thoughts are pure and unpolluted by the events of the day. There were a number of starfish on the beach and she clicked some close-up snaps of them. It was a lovely morning on the beach with the tide being low and heavy fog all over.
We
discussed about life and she said that the most important part of life is to
live “attentively” as in if we pay attention every moment to everything within
us and around us, we actually live in the present, and life is all about living
in the present. I had just read about Hatha Yoga in a book and re-stated the
facts given about the eight steps in yoga namely Yama, Niyama, Asana,
Pranayama, Pratyahara, Dharana, Dhyana, and Samadhi. I find it similar to Vippasana where there
are three steps viz. Sheel, Samadhi and Pragnya. Sheel and Yama are same, Samadhi in
Vippasana is equivalent to the next seven steps of Yoga where the mind is
controlled and a person becomes the master of the mind, and Samadhi of yoga is
the stage of Pragnya in Vippasana where a person gains wisdom by
self-realization/ experience. Basically all these arts of meditation and exercise teach us to live life attentively in the present and overcome the fears and worries of the past or the future. We also
spoke about this child prodigy who expired this January at a young age of 16 years and had written a book which
was published on the day she died , and that too in the Jaipur Litfest called “The Little Epiphanies”. She had written about all the glorious moments of her life and her dreams before she died. She knew that she was dying and I believe had asked to live a little longer from God as she wanted to do so much more. Sad but real , but children are so pure and un-polluted by the ways of the world, so in a way, they are much closer to God. There is so much to learn from children, yes, it is the adults who have to learn from children and not vice-versa.
Running in
the dark and discovering your own mind and overcoming the “shadows of demons”
is also a moment of epiphany especially when you get to see the marvels of
nature unfold as the day begins each morning. After a long walk of discussion
on all these points, time had really flown and it was already 08:10 Am and I
was really late as I normally leave for office by this time. So I bade goodbye
and ran back to my house and had a quick bath, breakfast and managed to reach
office at sharp 0900 hrs. The day had begun beautifully with a lot of activity
both physically as well as intellectually. I had achieved a tempo run (albeit
with some unwanted breaks) as well as a stimulating conversation to mull
over and evolve in life.
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